Kindness as Life-Changer for the Down-Trodden Self

 In Blog
Don’t tell yourself that!

How do you treat you?
One of the main things that is important to a person who is looking to change their experience in life, is how they treat themselves. How do you treat you?
In this there is already the idea of relating to yourself. Having a relationship with yourself. Many people don’t realise that they already have this, and that it often isn’t a very good relationship. The way people talk to themselves can be from unkind to pretty abusive.

‘This is me’ and it feels bad…
As people may have been talking like this to themselves forever, it sits just under their conscious awareness. They hear the negative talk and react to it; shape their lives by it, but at the same time aren’t quite aware of it. So it actually just becomes their lived experience; it feels like it’s ‘who they are’. They identify with the often nasty things that they say to themselves.
Who isn’t outraged to see one person lower the self-esteem of another and then every moment of the day?
Who realises that a lot of people with emotional/mental health issues, do just that?

And why would they do that?

Yes… Why do you talk to yourself like that?
For some it might be that they were spoken to like that by their parents or others in whose care they were. For some it might have been something experienced and  learned at school. Or it could be the pressuring messages from society, religion and culture. Or all of the above together. Now, in our society and collective consciousness, there is a growing awareness of all these pressures and the pain they cause. And steps are taken to change our society, our families, our institutions to be more humanely kind.
And so on an individual level, kindness towards the self is what makes life joyful and pleasant and exciting. It also allows us to guide ourselves through recovering from the emotional wounds and injuries we have suffered, whose pain we have experienced often far beyond the time in which they initially occurred. And as this changes your experience on the inside, it changes your experience of the outside world too.

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