What do you want in life? What is it that you want right now?
In life we spend a lot time wishing for things to happen, wishing for things to be different. We crave a new, fresh and better experience. Because this often arises from a discontent or unhappiness with where we are now, whatever we think we want will be the opposite of that.
So with our mental energy we create images and thoughts of what we DO want, trying to get away from what we DON’T want. In an effort to make the experience of what we do want as real as possible we focus HARD… and create a lot of detail.
Some of us spend so much time in this space that we end up living in this world of thought, imagination and fantasy. And the disappointing thing about this is, that it isn’t real and therefor never satisfies for longer than we can keep it active in our minds; we can never relax. To relax is to fall back into that place where we don’t want to be.
So how CAN we make change happen? How can we create a life that is satisfying? How can we relax where we are? Obviously there are many ways to go and techniques to use….
However, one that I would like to share with you is the technique of curiosity. Curiosity asks a question and then expects an answer. Asking the question with a genuine curiosity first of all acknowledges that you don’t yet know the answer but that you are open to it. To keep wide open to the answer, you let go of trying to answer it with your thoughts or imagination. These will merely try and focus and find and imagine something in your head; which is never the real answer and can’t give you the satisfaction of a real experience.
Do though….expect the answer in your life. When you open up to the possibility of the answer you widen your span of attention, instead of focussing it narrowly which constricts the possibilities of experience. Widening your span of attention creates a larger awareness and allows you to observe what is happening in your life.
Here are some questions you could ask yourself:
How do I experience happiness? Show me….
How do I experience self-acceptance? Show me….
How do I experience a wonderful relationship? Show me….
How do I express motherhood as I would most want and like to? Show me….
How do I most creatively and satisfyingly express myself in my career? Show me….
How do I best/most lovingly extricate myself from this situation/job/relationship? Show me….
What is it for me, to experience self-empowerment? Show me….
The question is important and it is a good idea to dig deeper behind the superficial wants and don’t wants to find the real quest beneath. THIS is where mental effort definitely has a place; to figure out the right question, ask it and then let it go! You’ve asked the question and life WILL answer it. So keep your mind, gaze and heart wide open for the answer.
You know when this is so, because your eyes will be soft and relaxed, your frown will melt and your shoulders and back relaxed. If there is tension in your head or eyes or shoulders, you can assume that you are trying to use your mind to focus. So come back to curiosity, open up your experience by softening the body.
Be curious!! Be alert to new thoughts, new perceptions, realisations and new ideas that pop into your mind!!